A good boss helps productivity, quality of output, job satisfaction, company reputation… but who wants any of that, right? If you’re looking to be a terrible boss, then we’ve got a bunch of advice for you right here.
Punish your employees publically
I don’t mean that you should drag them out onto the streets and announce they’re bad behavior in front of the world – that could probably get you arrested. But if an employee is late, or hasn’t done the work properly (or at all), or they’re talking too loud… well, how can you just let any of that pass? Make an example of them by calling them out on their mistakes and misbehavior there and then, where other employees can hear. This will make them feel ashamed, embarrassed, and inadequate.
ALTERNATIVE! No matter how angry you are at the mistake in question, it’s always best to keep lectures and reprimands in private meetings or emails. I get that “making an example” of someone may help others avoid these sorts of mistakes. But you would be doing that at the expense of the employee in question. Work with them in helping them improve things. Everyone will be much better off for it.
Let the place get messy
Hey, an office isn’t a spa, right? We’re not here to get comfortable. Sure, the place gets pretty dusty from time to time. Maybe it’s even irritating a few lungs. And yeah, the trash in the kitchen can get pretty unpleasant. But what do you expect in an office of fifty or so people? A little discomfort helps people work harder, anyway. Right? As long as there’s handwash around, who really cares?
ALTERNATIVE! Let your employees know you actually care about their comfort by keeping the place clean. An untidy work environment isn’t necessarily a sign of productivity. And a lack of cleanliness actually hurts concentration and job satisfaction to a large degree. There are services out there such as United Unlimited who can help you keep everything clean so you have a little excuse!
Make lots of mistakes and don’t own up to them
When you’re the boss, you can let loose a little. Hey, it’s not as if you’re looking for any sort of promotion, right? You’re at the top of the ladder! If you get something wrong, an employee can sort out the fallout. Or, at least, they can take the blame for it.
ALTERNATIVE! The perfect alternative is, of course, to not make any mistakes whatsoever. But mistakes are going to happen, I’m afraid. But if your employees see you as, know, a fellow human being, and maybe even a friend, then they’re not going to judge you too harshly for it. The trick is to actually acknowledge any managerial missteps you have made and make up for them. This seems like obvious advice, sure. But I don’t have enough fingers to count up the amount of bosses I’ve seen who have violated this basic principle. (If I were counting on my hands, of course. Obviously, I could count them in my head.)